Can you tell what I am thinking?

It’s been some time since last I blogged. This is because I have been very busy finishing my degree and making arrangements for my immediate and distant future. During this time I read a book on reading and controlling body language. I am hooked! I am becoming an expert at reading people’s gestures and motions. Faced with the likelihood that I will have to submit myself to interviews very soon, I have identified some habits I have adopted over the years that may be working against me as I interact with the outside world.

In an age where a lot of our interpersonal interactions are conducted via computer or phone, I believe that we have become desensitized to reading body language. Therefore, I thought I’d share some of the most thought-provoking body language cues:

-       Palms facing up= non-threatening; “I am telling the truth”, “I trust you”

-       Palms down= authority

-       Pointing finger= “do it or else”; creates negative feelings in most listeners (we all know people who possess this nasty habit….)

-       Men who hold their hands in front of their crotch (the broken zipper position)= points out areas they think are their weakest or more vulnerable

Did you know? That if you’re German or British, you’re an easier touch than everyone else! This is due to the fact that in these cultures interpersonal touch is rarer and therefore a touch has an even greater effect.

-       Hands clenched together, elbows on the table= reveals frustration, even when smiling

-       Five finger tips touching each other= confident he/she has the right answer (think Mr. Burns in the Simpsons “excellent”….)

-       Face resting on folded hands= presenting the face for someone to admire (I realized I do this a lot…lol)

Lie to me!!

These are eight of the most common lying gestures according to the book I read:

1. The mouth cover
2. The nose touch (I do both 1 and 2 all the time and I don’t lie….not a good thing I suppose)
3. The nose itch
4. The eye rub “see no evil”
5. The ear grab “hear no evil”
6. The neck scratch: 5 times using the index finger of the hand used to write with
7. The collar pull “it’s getting hot in here”
8. Fingers in the mouth (think Dr. Evil) reassurance is needed here

Evaluation and procrastination gestures:

-       The hand supporting the head

-       Interested evaluation: the hand resting on the cheek

Food for thought:

Most liars look you in the eye. Contrary to popular belief, liars hold eye contact. “When a person’s gaze meets yours for more than 2/3 of the time, it can mean one of two things: first he finds you interesting, in which case his eyes will also be dilated, or second he’s hostile towards you and will be issuing a challenge, in which case the pupils will be constricted”.

Apparently women can sense the pupil changes better than men can, which according to this book is the reason why some men can’t tell if a woman is about to kiss them or slap them in the face!

Look me in the eyes!

-       looking up and left= recalling a picture;

-       looking left to the side= recalling a sound;

-       looking right and down= recalling a feeling;

-       looking left and down= talking to oneself…

I encourage you to put your gestures and expressions under the microscope and determine if they are revealing what you want them to or not. Similarly, take a look at others' faces and bodies: can you tell what they are thinking??

Until next time....